You’re Fat, Here’s Why

Post by Quite Frank-ly:

Most of the people who know me best, have heard this theory. But for the readers who haven’t, you will hear it now.  Most of us guys know a few girls, at least, who were skinny and somewhat attractive back in the day when they were say 16 or 17 years old.  Now since their twenties have just started, they have put on some poundage.  Some more than others and well some just look like they were filled with with air and now represent a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade Float.  I am no featherweight by any stretch, I am 210 to 215 pounds and stand a towering 5’10” (maybe) but I am also a guy.  Girls, I am sorry, but for the first time and possibly the only time this double standard is NOT in your favor.  Everything else is, so for this one you’re just gonna have to suck it up and by suck it up I mean suck in your gut. If you don’t think girls always have the advantage of the double standard, I advise you to read an article that will be posted in the next few days (or go back and read one posted by the Hammer a few months ago).

Now to why you’re hefty.  First and foremost, you’re lazy.  Plain and simple.  Your “job” most likely consists of you sitting behind a desk and not doing a lot of movement throughout the day.  At home, you’re lazy too, you sleep till the early afternoon and don’t really do much.  Reason number two, you think alcohol is going out of style.  Word of advice, alcoholic drinks have a ton of calories and sugar. AND alcohol turns to sugar in the blood.  So that sweet drink is about 2,000 calories give or take.  Number three, when you’re out getting obliterated your self control goes out the window.  I am talking about your eating habits here not the fact that you’re easier when you’re drunk.  In fact, if you banged a dude every night out it might actually help, sex does burn a lot of calories.  Back to the eating habits.  This is not entirely your fault.  The only places open at 4 am are junk places, and well, those pack on the flab.  Number four, congrats on going to the gym, but doing the leg machine with 10lbs of resistance half assed and texting the universe is not “going to the gym”. Last but not least, your coffee habit.  You don’t drink coffee.  Coffee is that black stuff with a little milk and a little sugar.  What you drink is dessert.  Whipped cream and 5 packs of sugar is not coffee it’s called eventual Type II Diabetes.

Do us all a favor, take this advice on those four things and when you go to the gym, do something.  You’re fat for a reason, and it’s a shame.  You’re in your twenties, if you plan on having kids and you’re fat now that just calls for a cheating husband.  It only gets more difficult as you get older.


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