Pool vs Beach

A post by Quite Frank-ly:

I had an idea for this and Im bored so i figured i write

Since it was just Memorial Day Weekend (MDW for you lazy pricks) and the unofficial kick off to summer I figured I would lay out the pros and cons of the beach and pool.
First let me say I am not a beach person. I’ve been to some very nice beaches in the Caribbean and Florida.  Most of my beach experiences have been in the lovely clean aired state of New Jersey.  The beach is good for relaxing and staring at slutty girls in barely anything,  but to me the negatives outweigh this.  The beach has sand, it gets everywhere; in your food, in your drink, eyes, and your fucking ass.  That’s annoying if you ask me.  The ocean is a pain in the balls too. I mean when Im in the water I like to relax, not get trounced around by a wave every 30 seconds and end up 25 feet from everyone else I was with.  The pool has it all.  There’s no sand (unless your a loser hippy who puts sand in their backyard because you think it’s cool) and there are no waves.  And let me tell you if you want a drink I open the door and don’t get overcharged or hassled by gay cops wearing shorts that are a little too high.  If I’m hungry, I fire up the BBQ and make myself a burger.  If you have to pee, please see drink.  As for the most miserable part of going to the beach, the ride home.  Sitting in a sandy, salty, sticky bathing suit in a crammed hot car in traffic is about as enjoyable as jerking off with sandpaper. When I’m done with my pool session I walk upstairs and shower 1,2,3.

To me it’s obvious the pool is the shit and the beach is, well, shit.  But since most people just do what everyone else is doing and God forbid they miss out on anything they will say the beach is better.  People who say they love the beach, when I lay out these negatives you can kind of see that look in their eye like, “Ya know what? You’re fucking right,” but they will never admit it because on Staten Island or New Jersey not liking the beach is frowned upon.

As for those people who are at the beach 3 times a week, get a job and enjoy the Melanoma.

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