Highlight Feature Of The Day: Jerkoff Central

Just when I forgot why I don’t go out when I come home from school, I walked into a place and remembered every reason. The place was KJ’s or better known as jerkoff central. If you weren’t a juicehead or a tough guy, you were frowned upon, and stare downs took place as soon as you approached the steps to walk into the joint.

Going in and talking to people you know is fine, but it’s when you actually go get a drink that the jerkoffs start to come out. Saying excuse me to try and get to the bar is apparently the equivalent of hitting on some juicehead’s girlfriend. I never thought I would be looked at up and down just by saying excuse me so I could get a fucking drink. This kid looked like a keg being that he was 5 foot 1 and on steroids, so naturally he thought he was the toughest mother fucker in the place. Yeah, you’re the man bro.

Then watching kids watch the Bulls-Heat game was just priceless. You would have thought the Knicks were still in the playoffs the way these assholes were yelling at the TV. “Bro I got like fifteen dollar’s on this game bro,” was the phrase most often heard as these morons yelled at the top of their lungs. Needless to say, none of them knew anything about basketball.

Also, there’s this thing that the bartenders do when you order a beer, they flip a coin, you guess heads or tails and if you’re right you get the beer for free. I hear some dickhead behind me walk over to his friends and say, “What now bro 5 outta 6 what’s good? Heads, tails, tails, heads, tails and I got 5 free beers.” I retract my previous statement about the juicehead who stared me up and down. You sir, winning all the free beers, you are actually the man. Please get a life.

So there you have a gist of a little place known as jerkoff central. Once I get back home I’ll probably go back to see what type of laughter I can get out of spending an hour in the place. I’ll have material for days.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: