The World Is Coming To An End…Again?

What do you know, the same group of assholes that have been predicting the apocalypse for the last like fifty years are at it again. Are you shitting me? First of all, I have no idea why they give these assholes air time on TV and the radio. Second of all, this giant asshole said he had the calculations wrong last time but this time he definitely has the right calculations. I forgot that there were calculations to find out when exactly the world is going to end you fucking moron.

Also, they put an exact time on the end of the world. 6-9:30pm is the approximate time that we’ll all be dead. Once again, you’re a bunch of assholes that are saying shit like this to get publicity. I’ll tell you one thing right the fuck now; I’m not drinking their fucking kool-aid. I personally think these people are a bunch of jerk off’s who need to get laid and have a beer. I love how we moved the date up from December 21, 2012 all of a sudden to May 21, 2011. The bible says you know not the day or the hour and suddenly we have exact dates and times. Who’s the bullshitter? Probably both.

If you guys need reassurance to know that everything is just fine, you have it in me. I have been at Mohegan Sun the last two nights and I haven’t won a cent. If I won any sort of money, I would say we’re all probably going to die. But as long as I keep losing, everything is just fine.

And hey, if you need an excuse to get shitfaced and get laid I would say throw a party. Today should be like fishing with dynamite in terms of getting laid. Just tell the girl you want to feel what it’s like to have sex one last time before you die, guaranteed she’s jumping in the sheets with you within five minutes. But in case the world doesn’t end, be sure to use some form of protection. You don’t want to have to explain to your parents why they will be grandparents in nine months if you happen to wake up tomorrow.

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