Girls and Their Reasoning

This is a topic talked about by men all around the world I’m sure and I definitely need to get to the bottom of this. Girls, you all have these little reasons to rationalize doing one thing and not the other, yet your reasons make no sense. All I want to know ladies, is what is the theory behind your reasoning?

First, some friends of mine have their booty calls who they will only call between the hours of 2am and 5am while they are shitfaced. These girls are treated like complete objects, yet they always come back around. Watching this from an outsider’s perspective really makes you wonder about shit like this.

So, a friend of mine tells me that his booty call thinks that it is degrading to do doggy style. My question to this is how is a certain sex position degrading when this kid only calls you when he’s drunk on the weekends and wants to have sex? What you’re telling me here is that a certain sex position is degrading; yet only being talked to for sex is totally fine. Can I please find out the theory to this reasoning?

The next thing that girls do that baffles men is the I can’t have sex with the guy I just met because that’s slutty, but I can give him head. I would love to know what dumb fuck came up with this theory. If you didn’t do anything at all, that is respectable. But sucking a guy’s dick does not make you less of a slut than the girl who puts out.

If the dick is between your legs or in your mouth what the fuck is the difference? Is this just one of those peace of mind things that makes you feel better about yourself? This theory makes absolutely no sense to men. I would also love an explanation on this theory if anyone would like to talk about it; but I’m going to assume that girls don’t even know their own reasoning on this one.

Some things that you girls do and say make men go out of their fucking minds. There are only three certain things in life: Death, paying taxes, and never figuring out what goes on inside a woman’s head.

 

Somali Pirates Brought Down in Madagascar?

http://english.cri.cn/6966/2011/02/28/2743s623169.htm

Who would’ve thought that the first country to bring down these Somali pirate motherfuckers would be Madagascar? Is the United States kidding me here? I guess Madagascar finally realized that all these guys weigh about 115 pounds soaking wet and a good gust of wind blows them away. You can’t sit there and tell me that the strongest fucking nation in the world couldn’t go in there and blow these assholes away without a problem when Madafuckinggascar walked in and pimp slapped the shit out of these little fucks. I mean walk in there with a leaf blower and just blow them out of the fucking way. Oh I forgot they have machetes and guns. Throw a sandwich in the corner and watch them kill each other over it. This problem could have been solved months ago.

Fake Doctor Molests and Rapes His Cancer Patients

This is creepy as shit

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2011/02/27/2011-02-27_bogus_cancer_doctor_charged_with_sexually_molesting_his_sedated_cancer_patients_.html

My first question is how many people do you have to piss off to have your bail set at 33 million dollars? You must have to be a complete piece of shit for your bail to be set that fucking high. Long story short is that this creepy fuck told women that he was a doctor who could cure their cancer, and instead, molested every single one of them while they were drugged up. Not that I’m defending this guy by any means, because I think he’s a real piece of shit, but can I ask how the fuck you don’t know this guy isn’t a real doctor? I’m pretty sure a warning signal should go off when he lathers you in yogurt and then sticks a “concoction” up your vagina. Call me crazy, but that sounds more like a Valentines Day treat than a cure for cancer. Just saying.

Asshole of the Day Award

My Asshole of the Day Award goes to this dumb fucking Canadian guy

http://www.montrealgazette.com/news/arrested+Nazi+salute/4357737/story.html

How much more of an asshole could you possibly be? To stand on the steps of the German Parliament building and do the “Hail Hitler” sign, while making your girlfriend take a picture of you, might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard of. This is like my fourth post involving a retard from Canada, like what the fuck is in the drinking water up there? Maybe too many hits to the head playing hockey, I have no fucking clue. So this actually comes as no surprise to me that my Asshole of the Day Award would go to a Canadian, maybe one of these assholes will go to Italy and try to hail Mussolini. I would love to see how that shit turned out. They’d probably burn you at the stake publicly for doing that shit over there.

Should This Woman Be Wearing A Two Piece?

My main question for today is should this woman be wearing a two piece bathing suite at the beach? Not only that, but should this woman even be allowed at the beach? Hopefully this isn’t a sign that cellulite will be the “in thing” this beach season. Also, do you think that this woman has the ultimate FUPA? I happen to believe that she is at the bare minimum, top 5 FUPA’s of all time. Finally, what the fuck is with the tramp stamp? Come on now, as if you wearing a two piece wasn’t bad enough to look at now I have to see that tramp stamp. Side note: Her husband might actually be the guy in the background with the sweet man tits. If that’s the case I would hate to see what these two would look like having sex. They probably need two other people for assistance to actually find each other’s reproductive organs.

Building A Women’s Celebrity Football Team-Day 12

Finally, today we finish out the offensive line and complete the tight knit group that will be protecting our star in the making, Elin Nordegren. Today’s pick is one bad ass bitch and she will literally break yo’ dick off.

Right Tackle: Monique

What the scouts are saying: Mo’Nique is a huge force up front. She has great size and strength and she actually has been known to break guys dicks off. Has been compared to Buccaneers pro bowl tackle Donald Penn for her size and great punch in pass protection. The main knock on her has been eating too much and getting sloppily overweight. We still like her to come in and play right away but that concern is what drops her down to an early third rounder.

This is a huge bitch right here and I would go to war with her on that side of the offensive line any day. Just look at that intimidating face right there.

 

Quote of the Day

“If you’re not getting it by 12:30…It’s probably not happening”- T.K.